Alas, I Return

Not me, well yes me, but also the market?!  Ok, this is the fun time of the year when Q1 earnings come out, people scoff and babble about what the hell happened that wasn't supposed to, and what they should tell everyone to reassure them that it is okay to buy their stock.

First of all, welcome to what a market really should do, go up and down, but have the ups outweigh the downs.  Most investors new to the game were brought up during the mid-late 90's where things went up for no apparent reason, then suffered through the 2001 debacle and went back into the mind set that things are just supposed to go up for no good reason again.  Sorry folks, not exactly how things work.

The good news is this, no matter what you can make money.  Regardless of what is going on, you can still buy some stocks, sell come calls, or sling crack rock to make a few bucks (as a former tax accountant, drug dealers listen up, you are allowed to deduct cost of goods sold on your 1040).  I digress.

The best way to make some money (especially for you young folk) is to get moving early.  While recently the market has come back a tad, it is still way down from where it was a while back, which means there is a lot to be gained with little to be lost.  Investing now is a good idea if you want to think long term.  Use the information coming out in the next week and make some sound decisions.

Those fat cats down in Washington (all of them are fat cats, regardless of actual physical stature) can do whatever they want but as long as the market is there you can make some money.

Basic tips to aiding your wealth down the road.  401k, if you don't need the money right now, put it in your 401k.  Roth IRA, a good tax break.  Extend the life of your underwear by wearing it inside out after the first use.  The crop report this year says concentrated orange juice is looking really good.

Also one final way to make money is to run for political office.  Wait it gets better, then when you have a huge lead in the polls, solicit a bribe from your opponent to drop out of the race.  Works every time, I swear.  The best way to get a lead in the polls is to have broad shoulders.  I am for real, that is how Arnold did it, Jesse Ventura, and yes Sonny Bono.  Broad shoulders win elections, that is a fact.  Troy Aikman 2012.  You read it hear first.

(This website in no way endorses selling or using of illegal drugs or substances deemed as such in these United Sates.  Uncle Ruckus is a conspiracy theorist with a background in accounting, please use extreme caution in applying his advice)